Cervical Cancer
Caregiving: Just for Men
So many sensitive issues accompany cervical cancer.
Along with worrying about treatment, side effects and potential recurrence, she may be dwelling on how her sexuality and ability to have children will be affected, not to mention how you will react to all of this. It makes sense that she might have a hard time asking you for help or even accepting your help, even though you are capable of being the type of caregiver she needs. Keeping these two rules in mind can make a big difference:
Rule #1:
Don’t overthink your role. She may not feel well physically or emotionally, so ask what might make her feel better in the moment. You don’t need to make a grand gesture. These simple ideas can go a long way:
- Give her a neck or foot massage.
- Take over her least favorite household chores.
- Tell her she's beautiful (or strong, or funny, or smart...).
- Make her laugh and let her cry.
- Give her alone time.
- Don't be embarrassed to talk with her about it. Think of it practically. The cervix is just a body part, and any body part – including a penis and testicles – can get cancer.
Rule #2:
Take care of yourself. You can’t help her if you’re exhausted. Eat right, sleep enough, exercise and go to the doctor regularly. These suggestions will also help:
- Don’t take it personally if she is angry or sad or stressed. It’s not you. It is having to deal with a life-altering cervical cancer diagnosis.
- Remember that the caregiving responsibilities are not all on you. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
- It’s okay to be scared, stressed and plain ticked off, but it’s important to have an outlet for letting out your emotions. Exercise. Open up to a friend, therapist or another man whose partner has cervical cancer. Don’t dismiss having a good, cleansing cry. There is no shame in it.
